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Monday, 18 July 2011

Exposed~

The power of love and friendship are 2 things I have greatly underestimated lately. The reality that there are people in my life who care enough to say “You’re not okay” and “You need our help”… makes me realize that no matter how hard I try to pretend and hide what’s inside my heart… those who know me best know better.
I feel extremely exposed today… it’s a feeling and a place I’m not comfortable with, but at the same time, I know that in order to move past recent events in my life… I need to break down all the walls I have built up and let go of the feelings that are holding me back. So what I am feeling? Frustration…anger… disappointment… other things which are probably best not mentioned on this blog. The result of all these feelings has caused me to become a version of myself that I’m not okay with. But it wasn’t until last night that my closest friends put up a mirror… not literally of course… but they each opened my eyes to what I was doing to myself as a result of all the stress I’ve been under lately. Not taking care of myself, resting, eating properly, the list does go on…
It was only when I saw the great concern on their faces and the desperate pleas to let them in… that I really realized how much of an impact many situations have had on my life. I won’t lie… it was hard to hear what many of them had to say. Not because I don’t trust them… but because they’re the ones I trust the most and I know that their words come from a good place. It made me realize that I haven’t been loving myself the way I need to. Yes… we all go through rough times in our life… there are no exceptions. I just didn’t realize that this time would be harder to get back up.
I hear you girls… I feel your concern, your love, and your undying support. As exposed as I feel right now… I’ve never felt so cared about before in my entire life. I’m reflecting very much about what each of you have said to me…I’m remembering all that  you have done for me. Time to start trying harder…

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